Wednesday, 23 March 2011

Still having spiritual lessons

I will be boring my readers for the next 8 weeks, with daily tales of woe and hardship. Not to gain sympathy you understand (but if you feel like empathising, that would be good), no, more in a sharing for therapy for me, sort of way.  I am still at the stage in my own personal development where I can happily wrap myself up in my own daily goings on and feel it all, on a personal level, the effects of my life on the person who is Tamasin.

I have resigned myself not to do any spiritual work until my son has finished his exams. So what happens?  I get a text message asking for an Angel Card reading.  Hmmm.  So, here is someone asking for my help when I know I am not up to it, not 100%, I am still suffering from minor physical ailments (as a result of stress), today's ailment being a sore throat which feels swollen and puffy and a headache. So, no I can't really give an Angel reading. Apart from the fact that I am without wheels at the moment which will mean an hour round trip walk round there when I am not feeling well.  No.  It is out of the question.  Is it? really?  out of the question?, of course it isn't.  I text and explain my ailments, the lady is welcome to come and visit me next week for a reading.  Facepalm.  What is wrong with me that I cannot just say, not up to it at the mo, I will call you back when I am well?

I suspect it is the knowledge that my ill-health is stress-related and therefore will I ever be well enough.  Someone wise person once said, if you wait for perfect conditions to start work then you will never begin.   So, I guess the gardening can wait, picking up my glasses that are waiting in the shop for me to collect, can wait, any task that will involve over exerting my tired self will be waiting.

Oh yes, the spiritual lesson I was in awe of yesterday.  I read a 'note' on facebook, like a blog, but not really from Martha Hart about her journey in life. Her perspective of abuse from her former husband and how she feels and thinks about him is so BIG that it defies all logic.  The view must have come from a spiritual perspective. The idea that they agreed before being incarnated to play out the unhealthy, toxic relationship and her abuser loved her so much that he agreed to play that person before being born in order to .....what? help Martha have the experience of being treated really badly and to know what it feels like to have such low self-esteem that she lost belief in herself?  The questions are big, there are no simple answers for a person who is suffering or still having the experience.  I can see from reading about Martha's journey that it is in the looking back and the review that we can find a new spiritual perspective and understanding that allows us genuinely to look into the mirror of our souls and reach new depths of faith, hope and absolute miracle of not only forgiveness but also of understanding our abusers were given to us so that we may grow in our ability to love and show compassion. 

I think I am beginning to understand the term 'sympathy for the devil'.  I am starting to get it from a new perspective. Thanks Martha.  You may not feel that you are a leading light, but you are definitely treading some new steps that not many people would have the heart to take.

Love and light to everyone who needs it.

Tamasin x

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