Saturday, 6 July 2013

Recognising damaging behaviour patterns

If you get a diagnosis that is not what you want to hear, the tendency is to say,

 "Oh, my god! How did I get so far away from something I want so much?"

And we say, it isn't big like that at all — it's just a series of little things.

It is the, "I could choose this thought which feels good, or this thought which doesn't feel so good. But I've developed a pattern for what doesn't feel good. And so, it is the daily dose of not being in the receiving mode that keeps me not in the receiving mode."

And that's all that it is!

Developing a pattern of what doesn't feel good.  Yes, I can understand that.  The idea that drinking a tea every morning is comforting and something I need to start my day. I believe the waker upper is doing me good. When in fact, the habitual welcome of hot sugary tea is actually outweighed by the general feeling of ill health which has crept up on me over the years. 

Anyone who has been chocolate, sugar, red-bull, cigarette or *insert your own particular form of poison* dependant will know what I am talking about. The false idea that a daily dose of the required comfort food,drink,substance  is a necessary element in order to feel satisfied. 

In fact, the familiar feeling is so far below how we could be feeling, but we have developed a pattern, an addiction,a craving for what doesn't feel good.  This is also true in a metaphysical sense. Life events that don't feel good, but we recognise the feeling and so we head in that direction. We have nowhere else to go. Our inner compass can only take us one way because we haven't re-adjusted our emotional Sat Nav. We haven't polished up our inner being, there is no awareness that another level of improved, better feeling vibration/emotion exists, so what choice do we have? At that time, we don't have a choice.  Not really. Not unless someone grabs us by the elbow and says 'What are you doing?', and even then, we may not listen.

I don't know what causes each individual to stop and take a look around their inner workings. Getting in touch with their feelings and suddenly choosing to let it all hang out or go to therapy or take some time to work on themselves. I guess that is just a very individual choice.  How far down a person goes is their own personal rock bottom and clearly this has to be worse for some people than others, because we are not all the same.  There is no commonly recognised standard under which we can slip and be grabbed by other people, or find someone or something to cling to so we don't sink completely.  Well, some of us manage it, others do sink, they drown completely and often go off the rails for years, sometimes never to return.

 So, just to let you know, dear Blogger Reader, if you are feeling bad, negative, or have any undesirable feeling going on within you at the moment, please know that this can change. It doesn't happen by accident, you have control over what is happening and going on for you.  It all starts with an admission and an improved level of self awareness, the situation where you recognise that you are not happy.  That is where the work begins. Make no mistake, it doesn't happen overnight. How can it? The emotional state you are experiencing didn't arrive overnight, it developed or deteriorated over weeks, months, possibly years. But know this, it can be undone. You can alter your thinking and change your unwanted behaviour. 

Lots of love and light to everyone who is in the process of recognising their own damaging behaviour patterns. Here is wishing you the strength and determination to improve your own little corner of the world.

Tamasin x

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