Thursday, 25 March 2010

Surfing Angels at the beach

25th March 2010; I cannot believe I am typing that date..2010... where did the 90s go?

This time 17 years ago I was a mum-in-waiting;  A baby due on 21st March was already 4 days late.  I thought the party would never start.  Me and his Dad had moved into a flat near to Southend town centre with our newly born kittens and their mum; walking distance for me to get to work.  Spiritual matters didn't get a look in.  Work at a typewriter in a lawyers office filling in forms. sticking to legal deadlines, obtaining court orders, hitting targets; oh yes, and studying for Legal Executive exams to be sat in June. no problem.  Not really surprising I didn't put on that much weight during my pregnancy, my feet didn't hit the floor!

Every day spent in an office; every night spent in a blur of housework, snatched conversations with Charlie's Dad and a bit of t.v. every now and again.  Time for spiritual matters did not enter into it. At all.  We moved when I was pregnant; I changed my job and took on a really responsible, demanding role and decided it was time for a mortgage.  okay then.  no problem.   The surprising thing was my son was 8lb 12 ozs - I swear he should have been a 9lb er but I lost weight during the labour. A beautiful, healthy, shiny, blonde bundle of joy.  When he was 3 weeks old I went back to work. 3 weeks into motherhood and work drew me back in like a magnet.  Rewarding to my sense of self-identity to sit behind a typewriter and hit targets by petitioning the Court with requests for legal orders... Charlie at home with his Dad until lunchtime.

Charlie developed a voice by 3 months; a clear voice in his head, his eyes, the way he clung to my neck when it was time for me to leave him and go to work.  His soul connected with mine and everyday became harder to leave him. By the time he was 6 months old and fully functioning as a demanding, loving, smiling, laughing baby boy I knew there was no way I could keep up going to work..

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